


How To Ruin Your Day With What You Already Have In Your Kitchen

by FarenMaddox



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 16:55:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9334220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FarenMaddox/pseuds/FarenMaddox
Summary: Fai just wanted to make soup.  His kitchen was not equipped for a battle royale.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [itsclowreedsfault](https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsclowreedsfault/gifts).



> Hi Shadowy_Cat! I was very excited to work with a 'supernatural' sort of AU, and so excited that you mentioned you enjoyed things like vampires & demons. I don't know how I wound up writing the world's weirdest meet-cute, but I really do hope you enjoy this!

'It's payday, payday, gotta get down on payday,' Fai warbled happily as he swiped his badge to unlock the door and exit into the parking lot of his building.

A blast of chilly wind made him reach into an old, cracked, and lovingly tended-to leather bag that hung against his side. He pulled out a scarf that he carelessly looped over his neck and shoulders. 'Everybody's looking forward to the payday,' he hummed as he closed the latch on his bag again.

'Stop,' his coworker said behind him, dry as dust, punctuated by the muffled beep of his own swipe out of the building.

'Yesterday was . . . not payday,' Fai replied. 'Today is payday, payday.'

'I hate you,' Kimihiro replied, and pressed the clicker on his keychain to unlock his car. His car chirped like a bird. 'You want a ride anywhere? Shizuka's updating some wards all the way on the other side of town today, he'll be ages getting home.'

'I walk on payday,' Fai said, waving him off.

'That is the opposite of normal.'

'So's your mom,' Fai said cheerfully.

'Why are all your jokes like... old.'

'Because I'm old,' Fai said. 'Have a good weekend.'

Kimihiro dove into his car and tried to slam the door before Fai could sing again, but he didn't make it in time.

'Everybody's looking forward to the weekend!' Fai belted out, extra-loud. He stood there clutching his bag against his side and giggling to himself until Kimihiro pulled his fingers out of ears cautiously and started his car. He waved to him, then turned and headed up the walking path toward the street, bag bouncing against his hip with each step.

First, the antique shop. Then, the grocery store across the street, to get ingredients for a special payday dinner, and then head toward home. Maybe a quick stop at the florist on the corner of his street for something bright—depending on whether he got something expensive from the antiques store.

Payday was the _best_.

 

* * *

 

The door to _Yuuko's Storeroom_ knocked the wind chimes that hung from the raised ceiling, setting tinkling bits of stained glass off and creating a dance of colored light on the floor.

Fai sighed happily over the familiar greeting of the shop itself, and headed for the interior to get his usual greeting from the shop staff as well.

'Welcome to Yuuko's Storeroom!' a high-pitched voice shouted from somewhere over his left shoulder, and he spread his hands just in time to catch the small white creature that bounded off an armoire and into his arms. 'Faiiiii, hi, how are you?'

'I'm doing wonderful, Mokona. How are you?' he said, giving her a squeeze before setting her on top of his head and picking up a silver gilt hand mirror from an end table beside the armoire.

'Mokona was threatened by a big, scary man today!' she informed him cheerfully. 'Mokona is recovering from a fright!'

Her companion came bounding out from the workroom, hardly noticeable as a blur of black energy before he landed on the table where Fai was putting the mirror down again. 'Hi, Fai!' he said. 'Your bag is still in great condition!'

Fai, patting it fondly, 'Of course, I take care of everything I get from you guys. But what about this big, scary man?'

'It's okay, Yuuko made him very embarrassed and he ran away!'

'Where is Yuuko?'

'Yuuko is on the phone negotiating an early viewing of an estate sale. Using her wiles!'

'Okay, then maybe you guys could show me your new arrivals?'

'Mokona thinks our new selection won't interest Fai very much,' the black one said sagely. 'It's early American farmhouse things.'

'Yeah, Fai should think about the footstool again, the green and gold one!'

Fai was incredibly weak for art nouveau decor, and was slowly filling his apartment with bits and bobs. So far he had a pair of twisting golden candlesticks, a mirror with faery ladies worked into the frame, and a single beautifully patterned teacup. He _wanted_ that footstool, but it was incredibly pricey and he couldn't really afford it unless he saved his payday fun money for a few months. He had so far always decided that he wanted the monthly pick-me-up of shopping more than he wanted that particular item.

'My life is so hard,' he whimpered.

'We got a new delivery of books and postcards!'

'Ohhh, I'll look at those, then.'

He also loved collecting old cookbooks with absolutely _terrible_ recipes, like gelatin molds full of canned tuna and mayonnaise. He occasionally even made the recipes, just out of horrified fascination.

Fifteen minutes later, he had a lovely book called 'Granny's Stock Receipts' that appeared to be soups and broths all written out by hand and cost so little that he could actually set some money aside toward getting that stool, if he wanted.

'Oooo, lookit the _vase_ ,' he crooned to himself, halfway across the room with hands out to pick it up before he caught himself. 'No,' he said sternly. 'Think about the stool. Mokona! I'm ready to pay!'

'Mokona will see if Yuuko is off the phone now!' the black one replied while the white Mokona accompanied Fai to the cash register near the front door.

He was standing in the last scrap of the day's sunlight flicking through his book when Yuuko came sweeping out of the back room, her stiletto-heeled boots clacking to announce her.

'Fai,' she said warmly.

'Hi, Yuuko,' he said, and set his book down on the counter. 'How did the negotiations go?'

She cackled happily. 'I get in an hour before anyone else, _obviously_.'

'I really have no idea how you do it, but I'm impressed anyway.'

'How's work going for you?'

'It's a call centre,' Fai said, shrugging. 'Same old.'

She looked him over like she wanted to say something, but she didn't.

'Um.' Yuuko had a blanket policy against what he was about to ask. 'Would you allow me to pay for the stool in installments? I can pay the first installment today.'

She looked amused. 'But you don't know how much I would ask for as a first installment yet.'

'Please?' he begged, giving her his most winning smile.

'I like you, but you jump into things too blindly,' she informed him, and finally picked up the book to enter the price into her ledger. She paused, looked it over carefully, and then the smile she turned on him chilled him down to the very bones.

'What?'

'Nothing, my dear. Yes, you may pay for the stool with installments, and I will take one hundred up front.'

Fai bit his lip. 'Okay.'

' _Far_ too blindly,' she said, still smiling that dangerous smile while she slipped his book into a paper bag. Mokona jumped down from the shelf above her head.

'Yuuko, didn't the scary man buy a book—'

'Hush, Mokona,' Yuuko said. 'Have a nice weekend, Fai. See you next payday.'

'Um. Okay,' Fai said suspiciously as he put the book into his bag and headed out.

He fixed himself something simple for dinner instead of splurging, but only so he could justify a cheery orange bouquet from the florist. He ate and sipped a glass of white wine while he wondered if he had just accidentally made some kind of magically binding spell with Yuuko over that footstool. And if so, what would happen to him if he couldn't pay it off?

 

* * *

 

Saturday leaked in through the curtains slowly, pale and ineffectual. Fai normally went for a long run on the weekends, but the washed-out sky drove him to stay inside. He did some yoga to keep himself from feeling too stiff, and answered an email from an old friend from college. He did not own a television, and he did not feel like turning on the radio. Out of things to do and people to talk to, he decided to have some fun and make one of the stocks in his new book.

'It's never a bad idea to have some stock in the freezer, is it?' he asked his tea kettle as he placed a pot beside it on the stovetop. 'No, Fai, you're absolutely right!' he answered himself in a squeaky voice to represent the kettle.

'Okay, so . . . oregano, ginger sliced with a knife that has never rusted, huh okay, orange peel—ha ha why would you put that in soup?—salt, cayenne pepper, stir four times, add a chunk of raw meat that you have held in your left hand only _?—_ okay this is kind of weird.'

The wind blew against the window and spattered it with a bit of rain. Fai wrinkled his nose.

'On the other hand, my kitchen is going to be warm and smell nice and people don't write down _bad_ recipes by hand.'

He did end up turning on the radio to have the company of some music while he worked. He whistled along with the occasional song he knew.

'and that's all the ingredients, so now I . . . keep it on a high boil, stir seven times widdershins . . .' It was while he was following this instruction that it finally dawned upon him that this was not soup stock and this 'Granny' probably didn't do a lot of cooking. 'Oh, crap!' he yelped, throwing the spoon on the floor in his haste to get it out of his hand.

It was too late.

The water in the pot was turning red. Not even normal, there's-raw-meat-in-this red. The kind where it sort of looked like it was glowing from within.

'This is bad, this is bad, this is bad,' Fai chanted, scrambling away from the stove.

The pot leaped clear of the stove by several inches and crashed back down loud and hard, spilling the broth all over the place. Fai was not ashamed of shrieking.

'So, who has summoned me, whatcha want, et cetera?' asked a voice directly behind him.

Fai was also not ashamed of shrieking _louder_ and tripping on his way to run across the kitchen toward the knife he'd used to slice a piece off a steak. He caught himself on the counter, grabbed the knife, and turned around to find what appeared to be a cheerful young man with a backwards-facing snapback grinning at him.

'Hiya,' it said.

'No,' Fai said, from the depths of his heart.

'Aw man, if you wanted a lady you woulda needed to use nutmeg, not ginger—'

'I didn't—what? Who are you?'

The cheerful man blinked, and Fai screamed yet again upon realizing that the fellow had vertical pupils.

'Sorata.'

'You're a demon!' he said hysterically.

'Well, yeah, but you knew that when you mixed up a demon-summoning brew, right?'

Fai mutely pointed at his book, laying open on his kitchen countertop.

The demon sauntered over and peeked at it. 'Uh. So these aren't labelled and you thought you were cooking up a love potion, didn't you?'

'I thought I was making _soup_ ,' Fai wailed.

'Ah,' the demon who was apparently called Sorata said. 'Well, I mean, as long as you let the meat cook long enough, it might be edible, but it's kind of all over your... thingy. What is this?'

'It's a stove.'

'So that's what they look like these days. I haven't been called up for about, what, 200 years in your dimension, I guess. What is that?' he asked as he pointed to Fai's radio.

'It plays recorded music.'

'Cool,' the demon said enthusiastically, and immediately started pushing buttons.

'You speak very, um, modern.'

'Ah, yeah, that's like, way too hard to explain without a chart and hand puppets and you being able to see the fourth dimension. Ineffable mysteries of the universe, okay?'

'Sure,' Fai said weakly.

'Okay, well, what would you like me to do for you, anyway?'

'Do?'

'You called me up, I'm bound to do tasks for you now.'

'Can't you just go back home?'

'Aw, man,' the demon whined. 'I just got here.'

'I really don't want a demon in my house.'

'Wow, dude, that's totally discriminatory,' the demon said. 'I mean, don't think I haven't noticed you're still pointing a knife at me. I'm not, like, a criminal. I mean, unless I do something against one of your local laws. I haven't done that yet . . . I think'

Fai had _not_ noticed that he was still holding the knife, and quickly put it back on the cutting board. 'Sorry. But you should go.'

The creature sighed gustily. 'Well, maybe since it was an accident, they'll put me back as first in line for the next summoning.'

Fai nodded encouragingly. 'I bet they would.'

'Okay, well, if you're sure, you'd better get with the banishing.'

'The banishing?'

'Yeah. I can't just go, you formed a contract when you summoned me, so now I'm bound to stay until you release me. You have to banish me. It's probably in the book.'

Fai snatched up the book and flicked through the pages.

The demon started surfing radio stations. Eventually he got bored and cleaned up the stove top for Fai, using up half a roll of paper towels because he found them more interesting than a kitchen cloth.

After about ten minutes, Fai meekly handed him the book. 'Maybe you could show me which one is for banishing?'

The demon frowned. 'I don't really want to go, you know. This is way more exciting than sitting around the fifth dimension in a suspended state of non-thought.'

Fai thought quickly, and then he put his hands on his hips and said firmly, 'I am ordering you to find the banishing spell. That's the task I want you to perform for me.'

To his dismay, the predator-eyed creature grinned at him. 'See, now you're getting the hang of it.'

When he leaned over the book, Fai got a glimpse of the tiny horns growing out just above his ears. Pointed ears. He hadn't noticed until just now, but he decided to forgive himself for this lack of observation because he was dealing with _an accidental demon in his kitchen_.

'Um, sorry, it's not in the book.'

'What?' Fai asked weakly, and decided that now was a good time to sit down at his little table. His knees were not cooperating with standing very well anymore.

'No, really, these are all potent spells, but none are the put-stuff-back-the-way-it-was kind. There should be a second book. Most witches keep a book of spells and summonings, and another book of counter-curses and stuff. This came as a set, right?'

Fai put his head in his hands. 'I don't think so,' he said as he thought very hard about the books he'd looked at yesterday. 'But I guess I had better go back to the store and find out.'

The demon nodded. 'Well, unless you want me to stay here forever. I mean, until you die, anyway.'

Fai jumped up from his seat. 'You can't just say things like that,' he yelped.

The demon just laughed at him.

Fai quickly hurried into shoes and a coat. 'I'll be back later, please do not touch anything or talk to my neighbors.'

'You're leaving me here?' the demon asked. His pointed ears drooped a little.

'I can't take you out!'

'Please?'

Fai stared at the demon. The demon stared back, strange eyes looking wide and innocent.

'Fine but you have to put a different hat on,' Fai said.

The demon pulled on the beanie that Fai thrust at him, clearly understanding what Fai wanted as he tugged it down over his ears.

 

* * *

 

'Yuuko!' Fai yelled as he entered the store, shaking out the umbrella and dropping it into the umbrella stand by the door. Despite having used it, he was halfway to soaked from spending nearly an hour out in the rain to get here. The demon had stopped about every couple of yards to study something along the way.

'Shhhhh!' white Mokona admonished, ambushing him from the shelves above the counter. 'Yuuko is sleeping.'

'Yuuko is hungover, you mean,' Fai said, knowing the drill by now. The black Mokona was probably knocked out right beside her. White Mokona usually recovered first.

'Hi, I'm Sorata, what are you?' the demon behind him piped up.

'Mokona is Mokona!'

'Spirit of air?'

'Spirit of the fifth dimension!' Mokona corrected him, puffing up with importance.

'Oh, wow.'

'I didn't know that, I thought you were air too,' Fai said, distracted in spite of himself.

'Yuuko is more clever than most!' Mokona pronounced. 'Not every sorceress could befriend a dimensional being!'

'Yuuko is in _trouble_ ,' Fai muttered. 'Go get her, I need to ask her about where the other book is.'

Mokona wrung her little paws together. 'Yuuko made Mokona not tell Fai yesterday.'

Fai frowned as he worked out what that meant, and then gasped. 'The big, scary man bought the other book?'

Mokona looked toward the back room before nodding. 'Yuuko thinks it will be very funny to see what happens.'

'Mokona, has that man come here before? Do you know who he is?'

'Mokona doesn't know,' she said. 'Sorry, Fai!'

'Will you call me and tell me if he comes here again?' It was a long shot, but Fai couldn't fathom anybody coming to this shop only once.

'Yes, anything to help Fai!'

Fai scribbled down his phone number.

'Fai, why do you have a demon?' Mokona asked, tugging at her ears.

'I bought a book with a recipe to summon him, that's how.'

'Ohhhh,' Mokona said, eyes widening. 'Yuuko is being mysterious again.'

'So you'll call me, right?'

'Promise!' Mokona said.

'Okay, thanks Mokona. I'll see you later.'

Fai left the shop again in such a state that he (mostly) forgot the demon was following him. He hurried down the sidewalk with no more intention than getting back home so he could brainstorm.

A man was coming down the sidewalk from the opposite direction, head bent over a book. Fai didn't usually stare at strangers, but this one was cute. How often did you see a cute guy in a leather jacket reading a book and walking at the same time? He brushed against Fai's coat sleeve, muttered under his breath, and kept walking.

Fai yelped as he was pulled sharply backward and nearly off his feet.

'Oi!' the other man shouted.

Fai stumbled toward him, and found that his scarf was snagged on the man's jacket, which had been tugged half-off his shoulder.

'Uh, sorry!' Fai said, tugging to try to free it.

'What are you apologizing for?' the guy said, trying to shove a book into his pocket to free up his hands to help. 'Unless you did it on purpose.'

'Here, I'll hold that,' the demon offered, taking the book and then stepping back to laugh.

'Why would I do this on purpose?' Fai asked in exasperation, finally getting his scarf free and finding to his dismay that there was a big puckered flaw in it.

'Like I said, what are you apologizing for? Obviously it was an accident. Ah, shit, that looks bad.'

'It's . . . I'll just get a new one. It's not a big deal.'

The big man busied himself with adjusting his jacket and not making eye contact, a blush creeping over his cheeks. 'There's a place that sells gloves and stuff next block down this way. If you want. I could, uh, pay for it. It's probably my fault. I ran into you, right?'

'No, it's fine, it's—'

'Just come on, okay, it'll take like 10 minutes.'

And with that, Fai found himself trotting down the street in the wrong direction on the heels of a large, impatient, possibly shy stranger with great cheekbones.

'I'm Fai, by the way.'

'What? Oh. I'm Kurogane.'

'It's nice to meet you.'

'Is it?'

'Probably?'

'You're weird.'

'That's . . . true. I'm also good at backgammon.'

Surprisingly, that got a laugh out of the gruff man.

'Here's the shop,' he said, ushering Fai in.

Fai had not yet pointed out that there was a demon with him, and kind of was not really eager to remind the other man that said demon was there. He would feel bad about the fact that Kurogane let the door close in Sorata's face at some point. Later. Right now he could not actually take his eyes off the man who was hunting through a rack of scarves.

'Uh, here, will this work?' he asked, holding out something thick, warm, and cream-colored.

Fai took it and said 'Yes, thank you,' without actually looking at it.

'Okay. Then, I'll buy it and you can get back to your day or whatever.'

'Already?' Fai blurted out.

Kurogane immediately turned a lovely shade of red. Fai was slightly embarrassed by having said it, but this was greatly outweighed by his fascination at how easy it was to make this man blush.

'What do you mean?' Kurogane mumbled.

Fai grinned. 'I will let you buy me a new scarf, but then you have to let me buy you a coffee.'

'Why would I want coffee from a weirdo who likes backgammon?' Kurogane snapped, throwing some money at the cashier who was watching them like they were a favorite new t.v. show.

Fai's smile froze, but then he noticed that Kurogane was also starting to smirk.

'I also like marigolds, the Jazz Age, and vodka martinis.'

'You're on the right track with the vodka.'

Fai decided to throw caution to the wind, and took hold of Kurogane's arm. 'Come on, I know where a good coffee shop is, and you can tell me what sorts of things you like.'

Sorata was leaning on the door of the shop, preventing them from actually leaving.

'So did you want your book back?' he drawled, holding it up balanced on a finger.

'Oh, uh, sorry. Kurogane, this is, um, Sorata. A friend. That I have been ignoring.'

'I know, he's been here the whole time. I figured you'd say something eventually.'

Sorata cackled and gave Kurogane his book. 'I'll head home. You kids have fun. Don't stay out too late.' He included a horribly saucy wink, but only at Fai since he didn't want Kurogane looking too closely at his eyes.

'It's not like that!' Fai protested, but Sorata was already halfway down the street. He looked at Kurogane. 'It _could_ be like that?'

'Depends on whether the coffee is any good.'

Fai just winked.

 

* * *

 

When Fai entered his kitchen, he found Sorata sitting at the table dipping pickles into a jar of mustard and eating them, interspersed with bites from a huge pile of toast slathered with jam. Even leaving aside the double-dipping with the mustard, it was too gross to ignore.

'What are you doing?' he asked in horror.

'Eating things!' Sorata said cheerfully. 'I haven't tasted anything in two hundred years, remember? This is amazing! Have you got any maple syrup?'

'Afraid not,' Fai muttered, catching sight of the pile of open jars and bags on the counter. 'Goodbye, grocery budget.'

'I could steal some money, if you need any.'

'You could get a _job_ ,' Fai countered. 'Do you even need to eat?'

Sorata shrugged. 'Probably not. But it's fun! Anyway, how was your date?'

In spite of the dread that he was going to be eaten out of house and home before he found a way to banish Sorata, Fai found that there was a soft smile on his face.

'Good. We went to the park and fed the guardian fish in the lake, and we had dinner at a really good pub.'

'That's your fourth date already,' Sorata observed.

'I knowwww,' Fai groaned, burying his face in his hands. 'It can't be much longer before he realizes I'm a total failure at life. I have to enjoy it while it lasts.'

'Aw, don't say things like that. You have a nice house!'

'An _empty_ nice house,' Fai countered. 'Which I rent, not own, with the money from stupid sucky job.'

'It's not empty,' Sorata said, patting Fai's cheek with sticky fingers.

'Yes, you're here, which just proves my point, doesn't it?'

'Did you have a point?'

'Never. Now go make me some tea.'

'Yes sir,' Sorata replied. 'You should call another demon up.'

'What? Why on earth would I do that? Isn't one bad enough?'

'Two heads are better than one! Therefore, three is even better! We'd have help to search the city for information on how to banish me, I'll remind you we've gotten nowhere with that, and they might even know a little about how to make the spell.'

Over the past two weeks, Fai had learned quite a bit from Sorata. He'd learned that demons had no free will in this dimension, but could do just about anything you could order them to do. They couldn't influence the free will of others, but some of them were very charming which was nearly as good. He had learned that they were usually incredibly bored since there was nothing for them to do in between wars in the spirit dimensions, and therefore spent a lot of time in a sort of coma waiting to be summoned up to the human world. They all had different knowledge and experiences, and it was possible to influence which one you got through manipulating the summoning brew in different ways.

Sorata, of course, knew absolutely nothing about witch potions.

'I refuse to risk it,' Fai said when Sorata put a cup of tea down in front of him.

'Aw, but we could—'

'No.'

'Fine. You wanna play Scrabble?'

 

* * *

 

The door swung open and Kurogane escorted/carried Fai into the house. Fai could not stop giggling while Kurogane took him over to the sofa and dumped him down. He half-dragged Fai's jacket off in the process.

'Oh, Kurogane, are you going to have your _way_ with me?' Fai asked, blinking up at him in an attempt to bat his eyelashes. Based on the grimace he got, it was probably less cute and more sad.

'Not when you're drunk.'

'Kurogane, you are. The best. You know?'

'The best what?' Kurogane asked, possibly amused—it was hard to tell with him—while he worked on getting Fai's jacket the rest of the way off.

'The best boyfriend,' Fai crooned. He was really quite drunk. It was fun, drinking with Kurogane. He sometimes had a glass of wine with dinner, just because. It was more fun when you had company, and he had sort of forgotten how it was possible to drink just _so much_ when you were having fun. Somehow, Kurogane was not drunk. Wasn't there something about muscle mass that explained it?

'Oh?' Kurogane asked in a sort of polite way, now working on removing Fai's gloves. Fai blew some stray hair out of his eyes and realized that he had lost his hat at some point. Maybe it was in Kurogane's car. He should check that out. 'Hey, where are you going?'

'To see if my hat is in your car.'

'I'll find it later. Just sit.'

'Okay,' Fai said happily, and draped himself over Kurogane's chest. 'You should stay here.'

'I just said, not while you're—'

'No, just to . . . just to stay.'

Fai really wanted Kurogane to stay. To sleep. To get up in the morning. To have a cup of coffee. Maybe breakfast. Just to _stay_ for a while.

'Oh. Do you _want_ to be my boyfriend?'

Kurogane rolled his eyes. 'A minute ago you were saying I'm the best boyfriend, and now I'm not even a boyfriend.'

'I should at least ask first,' Fai insisted, warm and comfortable in Kurogane's lap and so damn happy.

Kurogane put a hand under his chin. Looked at him. Fai didn't breathe until Kurogane bent his head, and then it was to suck in a gasp before Kurogane kissed him.

'Woo-woo! Get it, Kurogane!' came a cheer from the doorway.

'What the hell?' Kurogane shoved Fai away. Fai, being drunk, collapsed sideways onto the floor. Mostly onto the floor. One of his legs was sort of stuck between the sofa cushions.

'Why do you do this?' he groaned at Sorata.

Sorata shrugged and took a bite from an apple. 'I heard you come in, wanted to check on you.'

Kurogane—somewhat rudely—pointed at him. 'This is the guy from the other day, right?'

'My roommate. Sorata.'

'Nice to meetcha,' Sorata said, offering the hand that didn't have a half-eaten apple in it. 'I mean, again.'

Kurogane looked at Sorata's hand like it was a dead rat. He reached down to help Fai get back up onto the sofa. 'I didn't know you had a roommate.'

'It's a temporary thing,' Fai said grandly, waving at Sorata to attempt to banish him. 'Go away.'

Sorata shrugged and sauntered away. Fai turned back to Kurogane.

'Okay, so where were we?'

Kurogane was staring hard at Sorata's back, shoulders suddenly stiff.

'Um, I guess the night's over then?'

'That.'

'That, what?'

'That is a demon, Fai. Are you _aware_ that you have a demon in your house?'

'How do you know what he is?'

'I just do. So you know?' Kurogane let him go in favor of crossing his arms over his chest. He really was a bit scary when he was mad, Mokona was right about that.

Fai shrugged at him miserably. 'It was an accident.'

'So, what, you were messing around with spells?'

'I . . . kind of . . .'

'You're an _idiot_ ,' Kurogane said firmly. 'Look, we've both had a lot to drink, and I can't deal with this. I'm going home. I'll call you.'

'Kurogane, wait,' Fai said. 'It was just an accident, I didn't mean to, I—'

'Goodnight, Fai.'

The door closed, and Fai slumped down on the couch with a wail.

'This isn't _fair_! I just wanted to make soup!'

Sorata re-appeared, chewing. 'You should really read recipes all the way through before you start them. I just can't believe the prejudice of some people though. Demons aren't that bad! Dumping you just because you accidentally summoned me, honestly. It's so judgmental!'

'Right?' Fai said, and then to his horror felt genuine tears start up in his eyes. 'I'm going to bed.'

'Hey, are you okay?'

Fai pushed past his new pet demon and tried not to let the creature see him crying. Sorata didn't need to know how long he'd been waiting for someone like Kurogane.

 

* * *

 

'Hey Fai,' Kimihiro said as they were swiping out of work for the day.

'Mmm?'

'You don't look too good. It's payday, you know?'

'Yeah.'

'Partyin, partyin?'

Fai couldn't even muster up a smile. 'Any chance I could snag a ride home today?'

'But you always . . . uh, sure. I gotta pick up Shizuka on the way, if that's okay. He had a job right down the road today.'

'Yeah, of course.'

As Kimihiro was pulling the car out of the lot, he asked, 'So what happened?'

'Got drunk in front of my date and scared him off,' Fai said. Was that a normal kind of lie, was that a thing that happened to people? He certainly couldn't tell Kimihiro about Sorata.

'Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. You liked him?'

'A lot,' Fai sighed.

They picked Shizuka up from an elementary school where, Kimihiro said, they had found some remnants of a dark ritual in an old equipment room and needed Shizuka to purify the entire grounds. He'd been working there for two days.

'How was it?' Kimihiro asked as Shizuka climbed into the backseat.

'Long day,' he muttered. 'I'm gonna have to go again tomorrow.'

'But obviously you have to be thorough,' Kimihiro said. 'You wouldn't want any kids that age running across a demon or spirit creature.'

'I don't get what's so bad about them,' Fai snapped. 'They're nice!'

'Uh, this is my coworker Fai, you remember I've—'

'Yeah, hi,' Shizuka said, then leaned back in his seat. 'So, you really want to know?'

Fai hesitated for a second. 'Yes.'

'Right, well, some of 'em are nice and some of 'em aren't, but that's not really the point. The point is they don't have the same code of ethics we've got, and a contract with one is very close to having a slave, and a ten-year-old has no business getting a slave who'll kill someone if they ask it to. Nobody does, but kids are especially bad. There ought to be more protection in the spirit world for these creatures, so they can still make their own choices if they get summoned, but since there isn't, it's better that humans just don't mess with it.'

'I see,' Fai said, sliding down in his seat a little. 'Thank you, that makes quite a lot of sense.' He controlled his breathing. Was he sweating? Did he really have an amoral slave at his beck and call?

'So, my day was awful,' Kimihiro said enthusiastically into the silence. 'Three people yelled at me on the phone after lunch. Since I got promoted to handle escalations, that basically just means I get yelled at constantly. I wish someone had told me this when they were telling me I make more money.'

'Uh-huh. Shizuka, could you fight a demon with the stuff you have? Or banish one back to the spirit world?'

'Banish? No. I can only block them from entering a particular place, I can't put them back. Maybe someday, if I can find the right tools and methods. You're right, there's not a lot of information out there.'

Fai's cell phone was ringing with its cutesy pre-programmed chirruping noise. 'Sorry,' he said, quickly thumbing the button to answer it. 'I think this might be a call I was waiting for. Hello?'

'Fai!' Mokona greeted him. 'The other Mokona is holding the phone for me! I've never called anyone before!'

'It's very nice of you to work together to call me,' Fai said, warmed inside in spite of his heart racing in anticipation. 'Are you calling for the reason I think?'

'Yes! The big scary man is here!'

'I'm on my way!'

'He is talking to Yuuko about whether she has more magical books.'

'I'll be there in 10 minutes, Mokona. Thank you!'

Fai hung up and said, 'Sorry, but could you please turn right up here at the light? I need to get to this store right away, they've just delivered something I've been waiting for and I'm desperate!'

'Sure,' Kimihiro said, looking over his shoulder to check if the right lane was clear. 'What is it?'

'A big scary man,' he blurted out.

Shizuka snickered in the back seat.

'Shut up, you!' Kimihiro ordered him. 'Sorry, Fai, what man? The one you screwed up the date with?'

'No, he's just one of Yuuko's customers. . . I just really want to meet him. I'll explain later, okay? Thank you so much for the ride, you guys have a great weekend, bye!' Fai flung himself out of the car as soon as they reached the next red light, and sprinted the rest of the way to Yuuko's shop.

The wind chimes sent prisms of light swooping urgently all over the shop as he crashed through the door, and ran right past the Mokonas without even greeting them.

A tall, broad man with his back to Fai was gesturing wildly and seemed pretty upset. Fai could see how it would have made Mokona nervous. But Yuuko was her usual self, with a smirk on her lips and her hip cocked like a gun she was about to fire.

'Anything you can get, okay? Literally anything you can order or lay your hands on. The library bans it and the bookstores won't order it. I don't have anyone else to ask. I just need any information on demons you can find.'

Yep. This was his life. Of course it would work like this.

'You could just ask a demon,' Fai said wearily.

Kurogane turned around and glared at him.

'You already know a guy who has a demon around, so if you want some info, you could just ask Sorata himself. He's pretty easy-going, you know.'

'What are you doing here?'

Fai smiled bitterly. 'Looking for someone. And you?'

'Looking for some information to help you get out of the mess you're in.'

'You already have it.'

'What's that supposed to mean?'

'You bought a book here last month.'

'So?'

'So I need that book.'

'What the hell, it's a birthday present for my mom. Why do you need it?'

'It's counter-spells.'

'What? I thought it was tea.'

'It's the counter-spells for the book of spells I bought here last month. I thought it was soup.'

Kurogane frowned at him so thunderously for so long that Fai was afraid the man had broken something fundamental in his brain. Then he suddenly grinned.

Fai tried to pretend that his heart did not leap at the sight.

'So you tried to make soup. And you summoned a demon.'

'Yep.'

'You didn't mess around with spirits on purpose for fun.'

'One of my friends is married to a ward-builder and purification specialist. I know better. Thanks for asking me that to begin with, asshole.'

Kurogane ducked his head. 'I . . . you probably noticed I have a temper.'

'No, I had no idea!'

'You don't have to rub it in.'

'You left me hanging for two weeks, I think I'm entitled.'

Yuuko was looking more than a little like the cat that caught the canary when Kurogane shrunk by three inches. Fai walked up to him, lifted his chin, and said softly, 'So tell me you're sorry.'

'I am. Sorry.'

'Good,' Fai said, and kissed him.

'Yuuko, did you make a true prediction again?' one of the Mokonas asked, both of them bouncing around on the bookshelves in delight.

Yuuko was laughing at them. Fai was too busy kissing to care, but Kurogane managed to put a finger up.

 

* * *

 

'Come in,' Fai said, opening his door wide to let Kurogane pass, closing it firmly against the cold behind him.

'Okay, so, I've got the book. Let's do this.'

Sorata came out of the kitchen licking peanut butter off his thumb. He was wearing his usual hat, but it was riding on top of his horns now so that the curve of them behind his ear was perfectly prominent.

'Oh hey Kurogane,' he said. 'Welcome back.'

'Shut up, demon. I'm here to banish you.'

'Fai, honestly, what are you doing with this rude guy? You could do so much better.'

Fai patted Sorata's shoulder. 'He's a little gruff, but I'll get him trained up yet. Sorry, but it's time to send you home now.'

'Aw,' Sorata replied, making a face. 'I'm gonna miss breathing.'

Fai couldn't help laughing at the expression on Kurogane's face.

'Here, look for these ingredients,' Kurogane said, thrusting out the book with his finger holding a page open.

Fai sighed, and started digging through his cabinet for herbs. '. . . cloves, rosemary . . .'

'So obviously I can't give my mom this book.'

'Probably not a good idea,' Fai agreed. 'Basil.'

'But her birthday's tomorrow. And she is really hard to shop for. I have no idea what to get her now and even if I did there's no time.'

'Why not bake her a cake or something?' Sorata suggested, pausing in his game of tossing cashews into his mouth one at a time. 'There are still so many foods I haven't tasted yet,' he added wistfully.

'I don't know how to bake. I always burn it. Do you know how to bake?' he asked Fai.

Fai paused in his search to shake his head. 'My baking always tastes terrible.'

'You could get a demon to help,' Sorata said brightly.

Fai glared at him.

'No, seriously. If she hasn't been summoned since I've been here, the next one up is a demon called Arashi. She's pretty good at cooking.'

'I've told you already: We already have enough problems with you. We can't just summon another demon!'

'Why not? You're cooking up the banishing brew already. You can just make a double-batch and banish both of us.'

'Why do you want us to do this?' Kurogane asked suspiciously. 'Demons always have a reason.'

'Maybe I just want to help out my master.'

'Gross, don't call me that!' Fai squawked. 'And you're obviously lying, since this would be to help Kurogane, not me.'

'So helping Kurogane isn't helping you?' Sorata smirked. 'Fine. I'll tell you.'

They waited.

'She's so cute!' Sorata burst out. 'Arashi is the prettiest demon, and so cool! I haven't seen her in centuries and I'll do anything you want to get a glimpse of her again!'

'Are you kidding?'

'Who could kid about this? She's just so amazing.' Sorata swooned against the counter, sending cashews skittering to the floor.

'So that's it?' Fai asked. 'That's the only reason? It won't make it harder to banish you if there's two of you?'

Sorata ran his finger over his chest to indicate an 'X.'

'Okay,' Fai said. 'Let's do it.'

'Are you crazy?' Kurogane burst out.

'There's no danger, and it'll help us get a birthday present for your mom. It's too late to try to order one. Come on, it'll be maybe an hour, probably less, then we send them both back.'

'Fine,' Kurogane muttered. 'But I'm saying this in advance: I told you so.'

 

* * *

 

Arashi was as pretty as advertised, and while cool was mostly in the eye of the beholder, Fai could admit that he did understand the appeal. She was so graceful and collected and things that he aspired to be but was too hyper to achieve.

She whipped up a vanilla spice cake before any of them could blink. Not that Sorata was likely to blink, then he might miss a fraction of a second of staring at her with longing.

'Yours probably comes out bitter because you're not sifting the baking powder first,' Arashi told him.

Fai was trying not to be impressed, but he was. Kurogane was sitting in the corner glowering, though, so he tried to hurry things along.

'Do you want icing?' she asked while they were watching the cake bake and counting the minutes until the demons were banished.

'Kurogane, what do you think?'

'How would I know whether a cake should have icing?'

'Of course it should have icing!' Sorata interjected. 'What kind of cake doesn't have icing?'

'Lots of them,' Arashi said coolly. 'I don't need your input.'

'What's wrong with my input?' he cried. 'I love cake.'

'This cake isn't for you,' she returned as she removed the cake from the oven.

'Just a little taste?' he begged.

'You should know better,' she admonished him. 'What kind of demon are you?'

'I'll just take a crumb, it won't make a difference . . .' He tried to reach around her, but she pushed him away.

'I will defend it with my life!' she declared, and wicked claws sprang from the tips of her fingers.

'Oh my god, no,' Fai said, making a 'time out' sign with his hands.

Sorata gasped, and revealed some massive talons of his own, but only to hold them in front of him in a defensive gesture. 'Arashi, I would never want to fight you.'

'Then stay away from the cake. My master commanded me to make a cake, and I have made it. It belongs to him.'

'Please do not,' Fai begged. 'Do not, like . . . any of this.'

That was when his windows blew in with an enormous, teeth-rattling blast of wind. Shattering glass was a very loud sound, which he had not known until now.

There was a few seconds of sheer panic in which he had no idea what was happening, and he regained his wits to find himself buried under Kurogane, who had leapt across the room to shield him from the flying glass. It had bounced harmlessly off his leather jacket.

'My hero,' Fai gasped.

'Do not move, creatures!' commanded a new voice.

'What is happening?' he whispered, remaining perfectly still underneath his Kuro-armor.

Kurogane looked down at him with a tired expression. 'I think they're angels.'

Fai peeked over his shoulder to find that his kitchen was now inhabited not just by two demons with tiny horns and pointy ears, but also two figures clad in snappy white suits. Their wings stretched up toward the ceiling, so white it hurt to look at them. As the glare of light around them died down, Fai discovered them to be actually pretty tiny in stature.

'Is it just me, or are they adorable?' Fai whispered.

Kurogane just glared at him, and slowly stood up. 'So who are you?'

'I'm Syaoran, this is Sakura. We sensed violence from these creatures and have come to your aid.'

'How noble,' Fai said dryly. 'They're not threatening us.'

'Surely you are mistaken,' Sakura piped up. 'Their claws are deadly.'

'Look, they're just fighting about cake.'

'What is cake?' Syaoran asked.

'Oh you poor child,' Sorata blurted out.

'Do not speak to me, demon!' Syaoran said grandly, then glanced at his companion with his chest puffed out to make sure she was seeing his bravery.

Fai tried, and failed, to hold back a giggle.

'Angel dude.  Syaoran.  You need to relax,' Sorata said, leaning back against the counter casually.

Arashi still held herself ready for a fight, claws gleaming and eyes fierce. Sakura wasn't saying much, moving her weight to the balls of her feet and moving her hand to rest on the pommel of a sword at her hip.

'Let's talk about this, okay?' Fai said. 'It's not what you think—'

'Oops!' Sorata shouted, just as his elbow knocked the cake to the floor.

Fai didn't even have time to think _Of course that would happen_. Sakura drew her sword so fast that Fai barely saw it, and suddenly Arashi was shouting a battle-cry and rushing at her. Metal screeched against her claws.

'Get out of here!' Kurogane yelled, shoving Fai toward the door.

'Me, what about you?' he yelled back, grabbing Kurogane by the jacket and holding tight.

'I'll stop them!'

'Do you have a sword? What are you planning to do, punch an angel in the face?'

Kurogane looked like he dearly wanted to, but he allowed Fai to pull him outside.

There was screaming, crashing, howling, and flashes of heavenly light strobing from the broken windows. Fai stood there with Kurogane's jacket draped over his shoulders and tried to accept what was happening to him.

'Soup,' he said softly. 'I just wanted to make soup.'

'Fai, what's going on over there?' a neighbor across the street shouted from a barely-cracked-open window.

'I accidentally put foil in the microwave, sorry!'

'Well for god's sake be more careful young man! Should I call the fire department?'

'No thank you! It's fine!'

The window clicked shut and the neighbor drew the curtain again. Fai punched Kurogane's arm as hard as he could.

'This is not funny, stop laughing.'

Kurogane did not stop laughing.

Syaoran's head appeared from the kitchen window. 'We have vanquished the male demon, but the female is quite vicious! It may be some time yet!'

'If you let me back in, I can just banish her!'

'I am afraid that you will need to find an alternative heating source, as your current one is not in a serviceable condition!'

'You destroyed my stove?'

'I am afraid that the war between heaven and hell tends to create some collateral damage!'

Syaoran suddenly whipped back into the kitchen with a startled shriek.

Fai sat down numbly on the sidewalk.

'I'll be right back,' Kurogane said decisively.

'It's okay if you want to just go,' Fai muttered. 'Forever. Why would you want to date a person that this kind of thing happens to? I wouldn't.' He kept muttering despite the fact that Kurogane was already gone. 'Okay, I would, but that's because I'm weird and like backgammon and am depressingly lonely, so what do I care if someone has spiritual battles fought in their kitchen? Ugh, I really liked him, I _really_ liked him . . .'

'Go easy!' Sorata hollered.

Fai's head snapped up. Kurogane was dragged Sorata through the front yard by the collar with one hand, and carrying the book in the other hand. Sorata's was carrying a pot full of spice jars. Kurogane tossed Sorata down in front of Fai. His hair was singed and there was a bleeding cut on his cheek, but he looked well-pleased with himself.

'Kurogane, did you just punch an angel in the face?'

'No. I kicked him. It's fine.'

'I want to be impressed, but that was an  _angel_.'

'So, demon, start a fire for us. We'll brew the potion out here and get this over with.'

'Just when it was getting good,' Sorata sighed, then snapped his fingers and created a ball of fire hovering an inch above the sidewalk. 'There you go.'

Fai and Kurogane immediately set to work. First they had to collect water out of the puddles on the sidewalk because it specifically called for rainwater, which they achieved by soaking Kurogane's shirt and wringing it out into the pot, then they started adding the ingredients carefully. They had the crashing noises from the kitchen to provide some background music.

Fai looked up halfway through to see Sorata sitting glumly in the yard chewing on a blade of grass. 'I really am going to miss you,' he said without thinking.

'Really?'

'A little. Maybe.'

'Don't get soft on me now,' Kurogane growled, stirring the pot clockwise.

Fai opened his mouth, and then a fireball shot out of his kitchen, taking out a chunk of the wall beside the window frame. He glared at Sorata.

'It wasn't me!'

'Stir six more times and then add the mint,' Fai said firmly. 'Sorry, Sorata, but this is for the best.'

Kurogane did, and suddenly Sorata shot to his feet.

'I hate this part,' he said. Then he started glowing.

'Oops,' Fai said. 'That doesn't look good.'

Sorata went red all over, and started screaming.

'Can we stop it?' Fai asked anxiously.

'I don't think so,' Kurogane said.

'Sorata, I'm really sorry!' Fai called, just in time to watch Sorata spontaneously turn into a tower of flame and disappear. 'Um, goodbye.'

A warm arm slid around his waist and squeezed. 'He'll be okay.'

'Yeah, I guess so.'

The two angels came out the front door and headed over to them.

'The demon has been vanquished,' Sakura announced.

'Also, your kitchen is on fire,' Syaoran added. 'The demon turned into flame as it departed. We apologize for the necessity of this.'

'Great,' was all Fai could manage, but Kurogane ran inside to go put the fire out. 'Please be careful!' he called after him.

'So, we shall take our leave now.'

'Thanks for your help?'

'Oh, I nearly forgot!' Sakura said, and made a complicated hand gesture. 'As your lovely cake was destroyed in the fight, we thought it only right to replace it. A local bakery will find that it had an order placed for today that somehow slipped their minds. They should be discovering the order and preparing it now. It will be ready to pick up at five pm.'

'Oh my god, _thank you_ ,' Fai said with far more sincerity.

Sakura offered him a sunny, sweet smile. 'Call on us any time you are in danger. We are happy to help guard this city.'

'Not likely,' Fai muttered.

'Peace be with you!' both angels said, bowed to him, and lifted off with great swoops of their wings.

Fai continued to sit on the sidewalk because actually having to see the damage to his kitchen would make it real, and then he would have to call the owner and pretend that he had started a fire, and would have to pay him a really obscene amount of money. He would stay here and stare at the pot of water sitting on the charred patch of sidewalk as long as possible.

Kurogane came back out, with greasy grey smears of ash framing the cut on his cheek. 'Fire's out.'

'Thank you.'

'Do you maybe want to stay at my place tonight?'

'Really?'

'Well, yeah, you can't stay here.'

'Have I mentioned that you are the best boyfriend?'

Kurogane blushed. It was the best thing that had happened all day.

 


End file.
